Hello! Welcome to Authorly Honest.

I’m Simon Philip, and I’m an award-winning children’s author (honest!). If you’d like to know more about me and my life because you’ve a really nosy streak, here’s my ‘official’ bio, which I’ve copy-and-pasted from elsewhere just for you: 

Simon was born on the south coast of England and has lived there ever since, although he occasionally leaves to buy milk. After gaining a first-class degree in History at Exeter University, he immediately put his skills to good use working as a barman at a local pub. He soon grew tired of the   owner calling him Andy, and so, naturally, left to embark upon a Primary PGCE, which rekindled his love of children’s books, so much so that he had a go at writing his own. Deciding he was better at writing stories for children than he would ever be at teaching them, he made a swift exit from education to live the cliché of the writer who works in a bar. Almost immediately - well, only eight years later - he retired his apron and tea towel to write full-time.

Simon is represented by Sallyanne Sweeney at MMB Creative, and is published by Simon & Schuster, Templar, Oxford University Press, Bloomsbury and Little Tiger Press. His books have been published in more than 20 languages – one of which he actually understands.

Crikey – if you’ve read this far, you MUST be nosy! Which is quite alright (I’m nosy too).

But if you’re nosier than a nostril – again, totally fine – and you’re still not satisfied, well… keep reading, because you’re in the right place.

In Authorly Honest, I’m going to be exactly that: awfully honest. Perhaps even stupidly, career-killingly honest. Actually, that’s a terrible idea, so scrap that. I’ll be as honest as I can without breaching my contracts. Yep, that sounds better. I’ll be giving you a warts-and-all insight into the writing, feelings, finances and life of a children’s author.

And just to be clear, that children’s author is – surprise, surprise – David Walliams!

Only kidding. It’s me!

(Sorry.)

But…why?

Good question. Thanks very much for asking it.

Truthfully, because I think it will be good for me (and interesting for you). Good to have another outlet for my writerly urges. Good to have a distraction from maniacally refreshing my emails whilst I’m on sub. Good to have a place to (occasionally) vent, to celebrate the little wins, to spout nonsense (that will probably rhyme), and to share what I’ve learned so far as a children’s author.

Oh, hang on – you meant why so honest, didn’t you?

Well, because the publishing world is notoriously opaque, particularly for those outside it trying to look in. Often, it’s also pretty muddy for those of us already inside.

For instance, I don’t have any idea how my peers’ actual experiences compare to mine (though, naturally, I’d love to know!), partly because I think we all feel a pressure in this social media age to present only our highly-filtered highlight reels.

But what I DO now have is over ten years’ experience of the children’s-book-world bubble, experience that I want to share – because I’m on a mission to make the opaque more transparent. And because I think (hope? pray?) you’ll enjoy me sharing it.

So – as Robbie Williams just occasionally sang – let me entertain you…

What do subscribers receive?

ALL SUBSCRIBERS:

• Poetic Posts – a poem every Tuesday

• FAQ Friday series – one FAQ answered every Friday

• monthly Library Hauls – recent picture book reads and recommendations

• Nosy Newsletter – a round-up of anything noteworthy that’s happened in my life that month.

• introductory posts of my paid subscriber series, to get a feel for what they offer

PAID SUBSCRIBERS:

• my Approaching Agents series

  (detailing my journey to securing an agent, in which I share: what I did wrong….and then right; the email, cover letter & manuscripts that I sent to my agent; and general advice for approaching agents)

• my Submissions on Show series

  (a comprehensive look at my submissions from 2019 to date: which texts were submitted, inc. some snippets/full manuscripts; (anonymised) publisher feedback; response and success rate, and more…)

• my Money Matters series

  (in which I discuss topics including advances – and which of mine I’ve earned out – my year-on-year earnings, approx. sales figures and royalties, PLR payments etc)

• more behind-the scenes content

for just £4 a month (about 93p a week, if you prefer the sound of that).

That’s less than the price of THREE punnets of grapes from M&S!

Actually, I’m not sure it is. And if you go for the Candy Floss variety, it’s definitely not. But, unlike things splattered across the internet, grapes don’t last forever: once you’ve eaten them, they’ve gone (you probably already knew that). Although you can always buy more grapes. If you have the money, that is. And you’re in a shop that sells grapes. Anyway, enough about grapes... Just chuck us four quid (every month), yeah?

And as a paid subscriber, you’d be directly supporting my work as a writer. Which would not only allow me to continue to write (and buy grapes – even the Candy Floss variety!), but also make both me AND you feel warm and tingly and jolly all over. Who wouldn’t want that?!

There’s also a Founding Member option – the ‘Authorly Generous Plan’ – for those of you who are MEGA supportive and MEGA rich, but I don’t expect you to choose that. You can if you like, though. It’s £80. For that, you’ll receive everything PLUS a signed copy of every new book of mine that’s published during your subscription period (UK subscribers only, soz).   

Whichever subscription you choose, I’ll be grateful – so THANK YOU in advance.

Happy reading!

Simon x