Submissions on Show #3

August 2020 UK Chapter Book Submission

Greetings, all.

It’s a new month, meaning that it’s time to put another of my submissions on show. You can read the previous post here, and a comprehensive introduction to this series here.

Submission #3: August 2020 UK Chapter Book Submission

Most of the ideas I have are for picture books: they’re what comes most naturally to me.

I do, however, occasionally have ideas for longer books, which I enjoy writing: having more words to play with and the extra space to flesh out characters and the plot feels like a luxury when you’re used to working with the restrictions of the picture-book format.

I have less confidence in my longer writing, though; I read far more picture books than chapter, Middle Grade and YA books, so my grasp of the older market and what is and isn’t commercial is much weaker.

Whilst I regularly encounter picture books that I think are brilliant, I must admit that when picking up books for older children, I’m a really tough critic (though I’ve no right to be), especially in the case of funny books – so few of them actually make me laugh, which might be because, being a 36-year-old with a mortgage, creaky knees and terrible posture, I’m not part of these books’ target audience.

But I think it’s also because many of these books rely very heavily on slapstick or toilet humour to carry them – which, again, is perfect for the intended readership, but doesn’t appeal to me – and I like funny writing to be clever, and books to have something for child and adult readers alike.

And, of course, humour, like writing, is very subjective: what appeals to me might be the next 36-year-old-reader-of-books-for-eight-year-olds’ worst nightmare. My sense of humour leans towards the surreal and absurd, and I love a bit of clever wordplay.

Which might explain why I instantly fell in love with Andy Stanton’s Mr Gum books. They might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but they made me LITERALLY laugh out loud, and want to read extracts of them to anyone who’d listen. The writing is silly yet clever, the plots are bizarre yet – somehow – make sense, the characters are random but memorable, and the wordplay is wicked and wonderful.

For me, discovering Mr Gum was equally wonderful: for here was a phenomenally successful series with just my sort of humour, which I felt gave me a licence, and the motivation, to write the sort of texts I’d been wanting to, but hadn’t yet seen elsewhere.

So that’s what I did: I wrote possibly the most random story one could ever imagine, and had the BEST time doing so, writing purely to entertain…

…which might be where I went wrong.

Though I thought it was strong at the time, I can see with hindsight that, despite its strengths, Dr Calamity and The Chocolate Coup didn’t work, and prioritised humour and funny wordplay at the expense of other elements – for instance, plot, and keeping the young reader in mind – to its detriment.

This synopsis will give you an idea of the level of random and bizarre that I went for:

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Dr Calamity and The Chocolate Coup

In the tiny old town of Nippity-Nappity, which is large and very, very modern, the local factory owner has set her sour heart on ruining the residents’ lives. And not just by making horrible pastes like she usually does. Oh, no. Mrs Sweetheart, with the help of