Welcome, everyone, to this month’s edition of Submissions on Show, the series in which I dive into all of my submissions since December 2019, and share:
the titles (and often manuscripts) submitted
the number of publishers submitted to
(paraphrased) feedback from the publishers that responded
the number of offers and rejections I received
and a ‘silence rate’ % for each submission based upon the proportion of publishers that never responded.
In case you missed them, here’s a summary of the previous posts in this series:
December 2019 UK picture book submission: 6 texts, 14 publishers, 5 rejections, 1 2-book offer, and 8 silences – a 57% silence rate.
December 2019 USA picture book submission: 4 texts, 15 publishers, 6 rejections, 0 offers, and 9 silences – a 60% silence rate.
August 2020 UK chapter book submission: 1 text, 16 publishers, 9 rejections, 0 offers, and 7 silences – a 44% silence rate
October 2020 UK picture book submission: 10 texts, 15 publishers, 9 rejections, no offers, and 6 silences – a 40% silence rate.
April 2021 UK picture book submission: 7 texts, 11 publishers, 5 rejections, 5 silences – a 45% silence rate – and 1 offer, for two books.
December 2021 USA picture book submission: 3 texts, 7 publishers, 5 rejections, no offers, and 2 silences – a 29% silence rate
March 2022 UK chapter book submission: 1 text, 13 publishers, 7 rejections, no offers, and 6 silences – a 46% silence rate
June 2022 UK non-fiction picture book submission: 1 ‘text’ (a series proposal, and some sample text), 10 publishers, 1 rejection, and a quick offer
Now, on to the ninth submission…
June 2022 UK picture book submission
This submission consisted of six texts:
The Plaster Disaster – a rhyming text of just over 400 words about a stressful, urgent search for a plaster. This was one of the original poems from a collection I wrote in December 2019 called It’s Weird Inside a Beard…and Other Peculiar Poems, which was later submitted to publishers.
Despite some encouraging and complimentary feedback, my poetry collection was never acquired, although one of the poems, The Circular Square, WAS acquired and later published as a picture book (illustrated brilliantly by Neil Clark).
I think The Plaster Disaster is fun, but I can see that its heavy reliance on wordplay – yes, I’ve stretched the boundaries of credibility with a couple of the rhymes – might pose a problem at an acquisitions meeting. It’s a text with little Rights potential (especially given that ‘plaster’ is ‘Band-Aid’ in the US), which is never a good thing when it goes on submission…
Here’s an excerpt to give you a feel for it:
Let ME Do It! – a 500-ish word story written in prose about a child who is FED UP of always being FUSSED over and who’s DESPERATE to prove he is NOT a baby anymore, because he’s actually very grown up.
Many of the things that Teddy goes on to do were inspired by some of my childhood mistakes, such as scribbling all over my bedroom walls (and instantly regretting it: “Oh, no – I’ve done it again!” - that made my sister laugh) and my DIY-haircut phase.
My first attempt at cutting my hair was definitely a mistake, as you can see…
…but, as we all know, mistakes provide an opportunity to learn, so by the time of my second DIY haircut, at least I was able to apply a bit of experience to the task. The result was much better, as I’m sure you’ll agree…
Shortly after this disaster, I tripped over at nursery. And landed face first. On the concrete playground. I soon developed an ostrich-egg-sized lump on my forehead, exactly where I no longer had any fringe, because I’d cut it all away (take another close look at the photo: you can just about see my forehead). How ironic. Despite the timing – this occurred pre-1995 – the event never made it into Alanis Morrisette’s song, which is a shame. I think she missed a trick there.
Gramps and Grumps – a friend of mine suggested I write a story about my grumpy-looking cat, Hokey, and went on to suggest a plot. It wasn’t bad, and set the cogs in my mind whirring. The result was Gramps and Grumps – a quiet, heartfelt story about a grandfather grieving the loss of his late wife and the eventual comfort, companionship and purpose he finds when a stray cat repeatedly turns up at his house before one day refusing to leave.
The Puffin Who Ran Out of Puff – a rhyming story about flying the nest (quite literally), overcoming fears, love, and, I suppose, the circle of life. Without all the death, of course. So it’s not really about the circle of life, then. Oh, whatevs.
Here’s a snippet:
I Will Not Eat These Chips – a deadpan text, written in the first person from the perspective of a reformed seagull, who promises he’s ‘a good gull now’ and that, to prove it, he will not eat the chips.
(What a strange job I have.)
Ben Tries to Find a Friend – another text with a fairly deadpan voice, in which the audience is in on a joke that the characters aren’t aware of.
When searching for someone to be his friend, Ben encounters Bob. Bob is also searching for someone to be his friend. They agree to search together to increase their chances of finding a friend. Their search proves fruitless – but at least they’d tried everything: maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Then Ben’s tummy rumbles. Then Bob’s tummy rumbles. Both hungry, they decide to get some food. Together.
After writing this text, ideas for more stories for these characters quickly came to mind. Actually, scrap that – I think I’ve got that entirely the wrong way around. I can’t quite remember, but I think I must have written this text after the others, given that they were sent to publishers in a previous submission.
Either way, my hope was that Ben and Bob could become a bit of a picture-book double-act across a series, with this text as their ‘origin story’.
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